It's like God shit irony all over that family
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
