White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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