Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
