This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
