There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
