dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
