"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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