watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
