Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize