Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
