My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
