Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
farters have to be the big spoon...
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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