If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
