He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
