Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
