McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
