In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
My bed smells like the plague
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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