Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
