I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
