You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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