just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's rum buckets o'clock
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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