Your favorite bartender is back from prision
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
