does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I woke up under a house in Key West
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
