i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
