How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
