I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
