I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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