Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
