I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize