cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
