It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
