Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
