so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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