Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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