omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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