In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
