She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
