have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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