I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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