Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
