Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
i now understand why vodka
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
