im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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