sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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