She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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