It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
