so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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