You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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