Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
