This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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