I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize