Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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