She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
