"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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