Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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