I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
