the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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