This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
