Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
