so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize