so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I AM VODKA MAN
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
