I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
