So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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