saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
