its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
