can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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