do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
